OK, I know that a blog implies more than a post every four months...
Newly armed with a laptop computer with a functioning screen and a modem capable of connecting at speeds higher than 1kb/hr, I am hopeful to blog more, um, occasionally.
I usually blog out of frustration. It is my WWV (worldwide vent). So here goes:
Charity and I were blessed with a wonderful spiritual community in Vegas, a small group born out of Central Christian Church that met weekly, praying for one another, serving one another, encouraging one another. We prayed for Margaret's friend, Kelly, recently separated from her husband. Kelly accepted an invitation to our group, where we prayed over her, for God to restore her marriage. God revealed to Kelly what she needed to do to become a Godly wife, and helped her to initiate reconciliation with Noe, her husband.
Noe started coming to our group as well, and we prayed over him. Kelly and Noe decided that they needed to be reconciled to God in order to be reconciled to one another. So we studied with them, and were able, as a small group, with family members present, to baptize Kelly and Noe into Christ. Around Christmas (2002) Noe moved back in with Kelly.
The small group changed in February, when Charity and I decided to become part of a house church network, and the rest of the group decided to keep the group as it was, associated with the larger church community which (originally) we were part of. Noe, a gifted musician, joined the praise team at a sister church, Canyon Ridge, which was planted by Central (which in turn planted Apex, the house church network that Charity and I joined). Kelly and Noe's involvment at Canyon Ridge occupied their time, and they became distant from the original small group.
Fast forward to Wednesday. Kelly called us, interested in if we made it to Tennessee, since noone had heard from us. When asked how she was doing, she let us know that Noe had moved out, and was wanting to get a divorce. Shocked and confused, we prayed for her over the phone, and are continuing in prayer for her.
Shock led quickly to anger. Without going into the details (and we haven't heard directly from Noe) it seems obvious that this is not one of those cases where divorce might be justified. There has not been unfaithfulness or abuse. It is just a case of someone being unhappy, and wanting out of a relationship. Counseling wasn't helpful; accountability has been ignored.
Theologically trained, I am aware of a technical word for this situation. "B-------". (Paul used a similar word in Philippians 3:8, skubulon, which is translated rubbish, but had an original meaning that might be better translated by my word choice above).
Baptism. Church. Worship. These are all being made a mockery of. How can we die to self in baptism and then selfishly cast aside the one that we promised to care for through good times and bad? How can we be the church and allow our brother to be unfaithful to his commitments; how can we occupy someone's time in church activities while the smallest microcosm of church is destroyed by the evil one? How can we celebrate someone's musical giftedness without questioning whether authentic worship (romans 12:1) is actually present?
Therefore, I repent. I am an imperfect member of a flawed church. I have failed my friends and family. Was it right to leave this small group because of differences with the larger church body that Charity and I had? My job was so busy. My wife was so pregnant. I was not spending enough time with my Grandmother. We needed to prepare our home for a baby. We were making plans to do mission work.
I thought that we were modeling a faithful relationship with Christ. Perhaps we were really modeling the pursuit of our own goals, focused on what was important for us.
We trusted that Kelly and Noe's new spiritual community would be shepherds for them. They weren't.
My friend (and group member) Ron saw what I didn't. He was offended when Noe, in a prayer, thanked God for his ability in worship, and for how God was using him. Ron felt that, in some way, Noe was taking personal credit for his abilities, when it was the group that prayed for him. I paid little attention to this criticism. Ron correctly discerned what was happening, slowly and destructively. Our gifts are to be used for the edification of one another, not for the stroking of our own ego. We are to submit to one another, and serve them with our gifts, understanding them as gifts not for us, but as God's working through us.
But what happened? Noe succumbed to the disposable message of our culture: use something while it is helpful to us, dispose of it when it is not. But I have no room for pride. I am guilty of this as well. I am self-centered, a pursuer of my own goals. I am a living sacrice, but most of the time you will find me crawling off the altar to pursue my own ends.
Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me, friends.
Newly armed with a laptop computer with a functioning screen and a modem capable of connecting at speeds higher than 1kb/hr, I am hopeful to blog more, um, occasionally.
I usually blog out of frustration. It is my WWV (worldwide vent). So here goes:
Charity and I were blessed with a wonderful spiritual community in Vegas, a small group born out of Central Christian Church that met weekly, praying for one another, serving one another, encouraging one another. We prayed for Margaret's friend, Kelly, recently separated from her husband. Kelly accepted an invitation to our group, where we prayed over her, for God to restore her marriage. God revealed to Kelly what she needed to do to become a Godly wife, and helped her to initiate reconciliation with Noe, her husband.
Noe started coming to our group as well, and we prayed over him. Kelly and Noe decided that they needed to be reconciled to God in order to be reconciled to one another. So we studied with them, and were able, as a small group, with family members present, to baptize Kelly and Noe into Christ. Around Christmas (2002) Noe moved back in with Kelly.
The small group changed in February, when Charity and I decided to become part of a house church network, and the rest of the group decided to keep the group as it was, associated with the larger church community which (originally) we were part of. Noe, a gifted musician, joined the praise team at a sister church, Canyon Ridge, which was planted by Central (which in turn planted Apex, the house church network that Charity and I joined). Kelly and Noe's involvment at Canyon Ridge occupied their time, and they became distant from the original small group.
Fast forward to Wednesday. Kelly called us, interested in if we made it to Tennessee, since noone had heard from us. When asked how she was doing, she let us know that Noe had moved out, and was wanting to get a divorce. Shocked and confused, we prayed for her over the phone, and are continuing in prayer for her.
Shock led quickly to anger. Without going into the details (and we haven't heard directly from Noe) it seems obvious that this is not one of those cases where divorce might be justified. There has not been unfaithfulness or abuse. It is just a case of someone being unhappy, and wanting out of a relationship. Counseling wasn't helpful; accountability has been ignored.
Theologically trained, I am aware of a technical word for this situation. "B-------". (Paul used a similar word in Philippians 3:8, skubulon, which is translated rubbish, but had an original meaning that might be better translated by my word choice above).
Baptism. Church. Worship. These are all being made a mockery of. How can we die to self in baptism and then selfishly cast aside the one that we promised to care for through good times and bad? How can we be the church and allow our brother to be unfaithful to his commitments; how can we occupy someone's time in church activities while the smallest microcosm of church is destroyed by the evil one? How can we celebrate someone's musical giftedness without questioning whether authentic worship (romans 12:1) is actually present?
Therefore, I repent. I am an imperfect member of a flawed church. I have failed my friends and family. Was it right to leave this small group because of differences with the larger church body that Charity and I had? My job was so busy. My wife was so pregnant. I was not spending enough time with my Grandmother. We needed to prepare our home for a baby. We were making plans to do mission work.
I thought that we were modeling a faithful relationship with Christ. Perhaps we were really modeling the pursuit of our own goals, focused on what was important for us.
We trusted that Kelly and Noe's new spiritual community would be shepherds for them. They weren't.
My friend (and group member) Ron saw what I didn't. He was offended when Noe, in a prayer, thanked God for his ability in worship, and for how God was using him. Ron felt that, in some way, Noe was taking personal credit for his abilities, when it was the group that prayed for him. I paid little attention to this criticism. Ron correctly discerned what was happening, slowly and destructively. Our gifts are to be used for the edification of one another, not for the stroking of our own ego. We are to submit to one another, and serve them with our gifts, understanding them as gifts not for us, but as God's working through us.
But what happened? Noe succumbed to the disposable message of our culture: use something while it is helpful to us, dispose of it when it is not. But I have no room for pride. I am guilty of this as well. I am self-centered, a pursuer of my own goals. I am a living sacrice, but most of the time you will find me crawling off the altar to pursue my own ends.
Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me, friends.
posted by Kevin at 1:48 PM
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