Moving to Mwanza.

October 31, 2005. 18 months after we left the desert of Vegas for the wilderness of missions support-raising, we have had our prayers answered, beyond our greatest hopes.

We are now missionaries, commissioned, supported, and overseen, by the Landmark church in Montgomery, Alabama. We will move to Montgomery in January, spend the first few months of the year building relationships with the many wonderful people at the Landmark church, and board a plane in May to move to Mwanza, Tanzania.

Then we will finally have something to blog about.

fighting back tears.

The week has had a couple emotional moments. One high. One low.

First, on Monday night we were asked by the elders of Landmark what we were looking for in a sponsoring church. We were looking at what we were looking for. So we answered by sharing about how blessed we had been by the genuine spiritual community in the church, the concern for the lost and compassion for the poor and hurting. Finally, I talked about the heart of prayer at the church. To illustrate this point, I shared that we had a recent experience of being interrupted while presenting before a missions committee at another church to argue with us about some issue. While presenting before Landmark's missions ministry, we were interrupted by... and I could not continue. The tears welled up as I fought to say--we were interrupted to be prayed for. I took some time to regain composure.

To flip side was two days later. The young girl our church has been helping has reverted back to some self-destructive patterns. She chose to move out of the house that has been generously helping her, in order to pursue a relationship with a boy from school, which did not turn out the way she hoped. She decided she wanted to be back in Chattanooga, but the women's shelter was full. She tried to get me, our church, or her caseworker to give her the money to move into a hotel room, but we would not comply. So she decided she would find a way to get the money she needed. The last thing I could do for her was drive her to a homeless shelter and leave her on the curb until they could assess her for shelter.

I concealed my emotions--mostly. It was when we were leaving the women's shelter, after a heated exchange with Jxxxxx, when the outcome of our intervention seemed certain, that my disappointment, fear, anger, and inadequacy got the best of me. Sarah from the crisis partnership, and Jennifer, who assisted with the domestic violence prosecution, thanked me for my help. I did not know how to reply. So I gave a half-hearted, teary-eyed "your welcome".

And I am still hiding from the full emotional impact of the situation. The trunk of my car is full of the entirety of her personal possessions that I have gathered, with no idea where to deliver them. Out of view, but not out of mind. Like the pain I feel for her. But unlike the joyful tears shared in the presence of the elders at Landmark, I do not know where to shed these tears I am holding inside.

An ominous beginning. A blessed conclusion.

Our weekend in Alabama began with us watching the beloved Volunteers fumble away a chance at beating the hated Crimson Tide. For a handful of Bama fans, we were the first Tennessee fans they interacted with after the travesty; they were not shy about unloading the pent-up frustration of years spent in SEC futility. Man, I hate red.

On a more serious note, our time in Montgomery was incredibly blessed. Thank you for your prayers.

We found increasing numbers of people at Landmark that share our heart for missions. They are burdened for the lost and the poor, and want to partner with us in our work in Tanzania. They are committed to pray for us; on three different occasions, they surrounded us in prayer.

And the meeting: our meeting with the elders and missions ministry did not feel like a proposal or interview. It seemed like a gathering of Godly men and women who were eager to welcome us into their spiritual community. It reminded us of how much we have to learn and grow to be effective servants of the Lord, and it confirmed how much we would live to learn and grow at the feet of these men and women.

We should know something soon, perhaps as early as a week. We hope to share more with you soon. For now, off to bed. And the win streak will begin again next fall.

Praying the psalms.

I have been reminded to resume a discipline I learned years ago. Eugene Peterson, in his book Under the Unpredictable Plant (a reference to Jonah chapter 4) advocates praying in the manner of the monks through the centuries: Praying the psalms repeatedly. Many orders of monks pray the entire psalter each week. I hope to pray the entire psalter each month.

Five psalms a day. But why now?

Because my prayer life stinks.

My son, Josiah, is more faithful in prayer than I am. He prays every night for Ray and Marty in Texas, for family, for our neighbor James Paul, and our neighbor Colby (and his lawnmower). I would rather read another blog than spend more time praying.

When I do pray, it is little more than listing things off to God. I skip the adoration. I am narrow in my prayers, rarely honest before God, and do not spend any time listening.

I desire to live a life of prayer before God. I will not make it on the mission field without this discipline (and where does the mission field end, anyways?). And I need a guide into this life of prayer. The psalms is the best collection of prayers in the world, offerings to God that are also inspired by God, and full of the words, ideas, and language that help sustain a life in communion with the Father.

So, being the 21st, I am jumping ahead to Psalm 101-105 today.

Oh, and I am looking for a bible translation that translates "chariots" into "lawnmowers".

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Check out Joel Quile's blog. He is a mentor of mine, my old youth minister, who has recently moved to a church in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. He retells the words of his daughter Emily, who in her innocence prophetically challenges us to have a heart for the poor. Another example of how much we need to "unlearn" in order to become like the Father.

Married Christian Couple ISO...

Married Christian couple in search of short-term relationship with available housing in the Nashville/Murfreesboro area. Couple is awaiting the arrival of the newest member of the of their mission team to Tanzania, expected to arrive around December 19 at the home of their midwife in Hendersonville.

The couple will receive a great blessing from this relationship: a place to welcome their new child before leaving next year for the mission field, reduced gas expenses in November and December from our bi-weekly/weekly appointments, and further training from a midwife experienced in training birth attendants in East Africa (our midwife, Kathy, is currently in Kenya doing this very thing).

Couple can offer little in return for the housing; a little rent, maybe, a lifetime of thankfulness, certainly. Please pray for this relationship to form.

prayer and community...

just returning home from the World Missions Workshop this weekend in Searcy, Arkansas. It is always wonderful to reconnect with so many mentors and friends who have a similar heart for God's mission. What impacted us the most? Two prayers on Saturday.

First, gathering with our teammates (including some new friends, Brett and Christie Harrison, who will be working in a village three hours from Mwanza) for prayer on the Harding lawn on Saturday p.m. After hour after hour of conversations, classes, and praise services, we were exhausted. This time was refreshing, and the time was used by God to form us in a way distinct from all other events of the weekend. It was community-building prayer.

Second, later that night, our team and several others who will be leaving for the mission team within the year were prayed over and commissioned for our respective missions. I'm sure we are not the only ones who spend much time defending our commitment to mission, whether before friends, family, or churches. To have several hundred people pray for us, affirm us, and applaud us (I don't normally like this!!) was powerfully affirming... and empowering. It was the prayer of a missional community, and it helped form us into servants of the King.

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Again, your prayers for this next weekend at Landmark are cherished. Please ask God to give us wisdom for how to present the plans God has laid on our hearts.

Josiah pictures...

Here's a link to some recent pictures of Josiah... birthday cake, braves game, and Vols adventure included. (just a coincidence that he is wearing the same shirt in nearly all the pictures. It is a favorite, though).

And Charity wouldn't let me post the pictures of her at the midwife, with belly in full view. Trust me, she looks great!

I need to update my reading list...

I have finally started my first McLaren book. A New Kind of Christian illustrates the changes necessary for Christianity to remain a redemptive force in a post-modern world. For me, the book encapsulates some of my own struggles with faith and church, and provides a vision, beyond simple nuts and bolts, of what the church might become.

Something I am reading over and over again in various books: In our modern quest to organize, reduce, and categorize the bible into various absolute principles, we have lost much of the offensiveness of the bible, and have ignored some of the teachings and stories that just don't fit into our categories. Authors (like McLaren and Brueggemann) are calling on the church to reclaim and unleash these stories.

One of the stories that needs to be unleashed is the Jerusalem council of Acts 15.

This is a radical story of an out-of-control church movement, where church leadership did not easily agree, where the ground rules seem to change as the story moves forward. Present experience trumped long-held tradition. Centuries-old theology waas changed in a day.

And ultimately, the decision made "pleased the Holy Spirit", even though it did not end divisiveness.

Of course, we distance ourselves from the story, because the rules are different when the Apostles were involved. But was it the presence of the Apostles, or the experience of the Spirit, that made this transition possible? You may guess my leaning on this issue.

Anyways, the early church seemed malleable, flexible, perhaps out-of-control.

And I believe that our worship of "control" (sometimes we use the bible to maintain our control, don't we?) may be one of the greatest hindrances to God's work in our midst.